Surviving The Stress of the Holidays on your Relationships

Lets talk Relationships and Holiday Stress

I realized over Thanksgiving I was doing a total melt down inside. Stress of life, kids, blogging, finances  and feeling like my relationship with the wonderful man in my life was like a piece of taffy . Always pulling and tugging for more and getting the opposite result. The more I pulled and tugged the more taffy I got intertwined in my hair - like one big mess that kept on growing.

These are my personal thoughts and opinions - they might not be correct. I am no relationship expert( cough, cough) but I find it works for me in my relationship.... ( just wish I could re-master it - I'm a work in progress that's for sure ) 

It was at that moment when I could reflect on what had changed, what was missing . My first answer to myself was " he has changed". Then I realized after some more thought - he had not changed at all, it was I that was shutting down and allowing stress to take over "me". It was me who changed. Tom is about the most patient understanding, carefree person that I know. He can light up my world with a simple text during the day or surprises me with just the little things. Mind you not everything is a pleasant surprise with him. But I have to laugh and take caution at times - he is a man ! 

When I am happy and light hearted - he is up beat and smiling. That is a true sign of love when your partner is happy when you are happy. That's all he wants, is me to be happy. When I am not in some way I think he internalizing it, feeling like a failure that he disappoints me in some way. Its the true nature of a true man's desire to please his partner. And I an not talking bedroom - I am referring to the over all happy girl in his life. The one that smiles and laughs, and says anything you need hunny... ( at least for me its that way ).

Not allowing the little day to day stress situations get to you and to be able to look at the situation, ask yourself what you can or cannot do about it, and move forward. 

I seemed to forget my own lessons " everything happens for a reason" and its part of life and the way things go. And not to feel like I have to "own" every bad situation and "fix' it. Allowing others to fix things for themselves is part of growth and parenting all around. 

Its our nature as mothers to protect and fix our children. For me it never ended when they blew out the candles at 18. The age of my child never entered my mind that I was no longer a Mom. Talk about a new learning shift, it reminds me of the first time I tried to drive a stick shift in a car ( total disaster- but I laughed at myself) and eventually with practice I finally mastered it and could leave the parking lot!

Now imagine if your caring all that weight on yourself every day , day in and day out - that does not make for the time to be happy. 

Get back to the basics of being happy inside - it really is a choice we have every single day of our life. How our outlook is on things, something that even I forgot. Hey I am not perfect by far and get wrapped up in stress. So with the holidays on us, it does get worse but you can do something about it.

Enjoy and Embrace it - don't plan so much that you do not have time to enjoy it. Go with the flow and be spontaneous and live for the moment. Be Happy and you will see that change in your relationships happen too that your yearning for.....

Until next time- " Eat Dessert First" 
And I will work on everything above personally too !

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